Me: Why on earth not?
Student: Your voice is too high. It hurts.
Student: I like my teachers. But FUCK students, FUCK administrators, FUCK my family, FUCK EVERYONE ELSE.
Me: Uh...
Student: Ms. F, I think you are going to feel really bad tomorrow.
Me: Why?
Student: Because you are being so mean.
Me: I don't think I'll feel bad.
Student 1: Ms. F., you are the coolest teacher ever.
Me: You only say that when you know I'm mad at you.
Student 2: No, she's NOT the coolest teacher.
Student 1: DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MY TEACHER LIKE THAT OR I'LL STAB YOU IN THE F%!#% FACE!!
Me: Uh, thanks?
Student: Do you have kids?
Me: No, not yet.
Student: What kind of a life is that?
Me: Hey! It's a fine life!
Student: Why are your car seats down?
Me: Because I had a Christmas tree in the back of my car.
Student: God, why even BOTHER getting a Christmas tree with no kids?
Student: This is a pretty sweet car. All you need is to get a nice tint job.
Me: Hm. And what about some sweet rims?
Student: Um, no. Just the tint.
Me: Oh, I know! And some hydraulics!
Student: NO.
Me: But I could be bumpin' in here!
Student: NO, MS. F!
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