On race relations:
Student: Do you like Trey Songz?
Me: No.
Student: Do you like Nicki Minaj?
Me: No.
Student: Yes you do. Everyone likes Nicki. Even the whites!
Student: Oh, so I wanted to say, the other day, I was watching this movie, The Freedom Writers...that's my movie! And in the movie...I'm not racist, but there's this white teacher, and she said...
Student: Black Boy? That sounds racist!
Me: Well, it's about a black man, by a black man.
Student: Racist against his own kind! There's a lot of that!
Me: That's true...
Student: Richard Wright? That sounds like a white name. Are you sure he's not white?
On homosexuality:
Me: Okay, so look at disrespectful comment #5 on your sheet. It says, "Look at those faggy sneakers." Do you think there's a better way to say that?
Student 1, on his paper: "Look at those gay man sneakers."
Student 2, on his paper: "Look at those femmy sneakers"
Student 3, on his paper: "Those sneakers are pretty gay."
Me: pulls hair out.
On mistakes:
Student, reviewing a "What's Wrong With This Scenario" worksheet about students not following classroom procedures: Wow, this might as well be a list of all the shit I did last year.
Student 1: What are we doing next week?
Me: We're starting our Short Stories unit.
Student 2, who failed and is repeating the class: It's easy.
Me: It's not bad.
Student 1: Wait, what did you say?
Student 2: It's really easy.
Student 1: Is it?
Student 2: *thinks for a minute* Oh, shut up!
On extracurriculars:
Student: I can't wait until 3:45.
Me: Why not?
Student: I'm going home! I've got a water gun. I'm going to use it to shoot a wolf.
On geography:
Student 1, looking at map on my wall: Where's Maryland? *traces his finger around California*
Student 2: No, dummy, that's the West Coast!
Me: Yeah, you need to move right a little bit, there...
*bell rings*
Student 1: Oh, no bother. I'll just find it tomorrow!
On acceptance and camaraderie:
Me: So, "accountable talk" is all about creating a respectful, productive learning environment.
Student 1: Oh my God, put your shoes back on! Your feet smell like nacho cheese Doritos!
Student 2: Shut the F$@! up! I'm not bothering you!
Student 3: Feet!
Me: Okay, let's start over...
