Student: Ms. F, am I passing your class?
Me: No.
Student: Why not!?
Me: Because you never come!
Student: Aw, that means I'm gonna be failing all of my classes!
Me: Well...maybe you should come to school.
Student: That's so HARD!
Me: ?
Student: So, if I'm failing, will I still be passing?
Me: Ummmm...no.

Student: Ms. F., are you angry right now?
Me: No...
Student: Oh. 'Cause there's a vein in your forehead that is just SAVAGE right now.


Student 1, approaching me in the hallway right before class: There's only two of us here! Where is everyone?
Me: Who cares!? All the cool kids are here!
Student 2: runs out of the classroom, makes a face, and slams himself into a locker
Me: *silence*
Student 1: Um...I'm not that cool! I'm not that cool!


Student: I'm so mad at Ms. W!
Me: Why?
Student: She said she'd give me make-up work, and she didn't yet!
Me: I'm sure she will.
Student: I'm going to go into her room and set it on fire!
Me: No you're not.
Student: I'm just going to wile out and throw desks everywhere!
Me: No you're not.
Student: I'm going to go in there, take a bunch of pencils, arrange them on the floor in a perfect square, and be like WHAT NOW MS. W!?
Me: That sounds more like it.